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Saturday Morning News

Political Humorist Kate Clinton Talks About Election 2000

Aired January 8, 2000 - 8:36 a.m. ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

KYRA PHILLIPS, CNN ANCHOR: Well, we have a woman named Clinton joining us now -- not Hillary Rodham nor Chelsea but political humorist Kate Clinton and it's to talk about election 2000.

MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: You may have read her book, and there we have the correct book, "Don't Get Me Started." Kate's also been a writer on the Rosie O'Donnell show. She joins us up there from New York City and she is not related to the first family, correct?

Let's get that straight in the interest of full disclosure, right?

KATE CLINTON, POLITICAL HUMORIST: If it helps anything like a new house in Chappaqua, OK.

O'BRIEN: All right, let's talk about Al Gore. Al Gore don't ask, don't tell, he got himself in a little bit of trouble on that this week. What are your thoughts on that one?

CLINTON: Well, you know, grow up. I mean there are gay people in the military right now. Two words, Gomer Pyle. And at this point, you know, recruiting is down so much I think they should be happy they get anybody to go in the military. Nobody's going in the military. They're all going to the dot.com world. So, you know, they should be happy.

PHILLIPS: All right, you mentioned something about the campaign trail versus "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire." What's your analogy here?

CLINTON: I think we should combine them because right now there are more debates on television than your lovely coverage of the millennium, you know? I mean it seems like every state in the union has a debate going on at some point. So I think "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" is a very, very popular show. We should combine "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with the debates and it would be "Who Wants To Be the President" and Miles, Kyra, you could lead it. You could be the Regis Philbin.

O'BRIEN: Is that your final answer?

CLINTON: Yes. Because that, you would like -- don't you think it would be great and we'd like ...

O'BRIEN: Yes.

CLINTON: The questions wouldn't be hard. First of all, they'd have to put events in order like the War of 1812, the presidential election of 1992, the crash of '39, can you do it?

PHILLIPS: Or the heads of state.

O'BRIEN: Do you need a life line? Would you like to call somebody, right?

CLINTON: Wipe that smirk off your face, young man. You know, here's what I want to know. How come these presidential candidates can keep going on and on and no one has the flu? What kind of flu shot did they get? I mean they're shaking hands with people, they're kissing babies. Look it, this news room used to have a hundred million people in here working. There are two people.

O'BRIEN: I have two words for you, Kate, audio anametronics (ph). Don't you think?

CLINTON: Yes.

O'BRIEN: Don't you think the Disney folks are helping?

CLINTON: The Disney, look at what they did for the pope. Oh, no. Sorry.

O'BRIEN: Oh, jeez.

CLINTON: Oh, no. All right.

O'BRIEN: Careful. Careful.

CLINTON: OK. OK.

O'BRIEN: You're talking to a former altar boy here.

CLINTON: Oh, Miles, really.

O'BRIEN: That's -- well, I mean, you know, with a name like O'Brien ...

CLINTON: Oh, boy, we'd better not go there.

O'BRIEN: Yes.

PHILLIPS: I know.

O'BRIEN: Let's ...

CLINTON: I think I saw you.

O'BRIEN: Let's talk on the other side of the aisle here. George W. Bush, he's a hard candidate to really get a handle on, don't you think? CLINTON: He's sort of like Reagan lite, you know? I mean watching them, I mean watching the whole Republican debate I kept remembering that great line from "The Sixth Sense," you know, I see dead people. I mean why don't we just focus on two people? I mean Gary Bauer, like we loved him in "Willow." He was wonderful in "Willow" but he's kind of a distraction, I think. And then, you know, Keyes just, it seems like every four years he just gets an opportunity to spew.

O'BRIEN: Well, but I mean he's very quotable, isn't he? I mean he's good. He sort of keeps them honest from a conservative side.

CLINTON: Let's put him up against Donna Brazile, you know?

O'BRIEN: Oh, wouldn't that be something?

CLINTON: It's like ...

O'BRIEN: That would be an interesting debate.

CLINTON: Let's have a knock down. OK. And professional wrestling's very big. We'll put that in, too.

O'BRIEN: Colin Powell will be the referee. That would be ...

CLINTON: Yes, oh right. Oh good.

O'BRIEN: Yes.

PHILLIPS: Now your take on politics, what do you think of the whole Elian Gonzalez situation?

CLINTON: Oh, I think it's sad. But, I mean, you know, that it happened. The poor dear lost his mother. He was afloat in the waters off Florida. Jebb Bush has stated he's getting involved. I don't know why. But I think he should go back to Cuba and we should get a pitcher in trade and maybe two trades to be named later.

O'BRIEN: Well, who knows, he may come back as a pitcher in 20 years.

CLINTON: I know. I know.

O'BRIEN: You know, it's very possible. But, you know, I've got to wonder about the politics of all of this. The Cuban-American vote in south Florida is such a vocal, it's a group that, it's almost like politicians don't dare offend that group.

CLINTON: It's very, you know, I mean there are people on both sides who have incredibly firmly held opinions. But, you know, oh here I go sounding like Alan Keyes but I think, you know, I think he should be returned to his family.

PHILLIPS: So who's your pick for president, Kate?

CLINTON: My pick for president, you know, I am available and I would run with Leslie Gore and it would be another Clinton-Gore thing and we would sing it's my party and I'll cry if I want to because where did the women go? I mean Elizabeth Dole was the only woman there and now we have no women.

PHILLIPS: I don't know, Hillary might appear.

CLINTON: Well, yes. Well, we're doing the little Senate thing here in New York and then who knows what else?

O'BRIEN: Huh. All right. Good to see you, Kate and ...

CLINTON: Miles, see you at mass, dear.

O'BRIEN: All right.

PHILLIPS: He'll have your book with him.

O'BRIEN: All right.

CLINTON: OK. OK.

O'BRIEN: Don't be dipping into that wine, now. All right, good to see you. We'll see you again soon we hope.

PHILLIPS: Well, she's a hoot.

O'BRIEN: Yes, yes.

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